this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess it bothers you as it's a command, not a request. I'm not to responsive to commands as well. My wife doesn't give them, but states a situation, usually expecting I drop everything and respond. (almost as bad)

As someone already reacted, in the car I get a 'look' as well, but th's usually because she sees an old car. (When busy with traffic, I miss it, but we have some nice spots)

Some consideration from your partner is appreciated though, but that requires telling what is wrong as well. Without communication the problem only escalates. (Which usually doesn't bode well for relationships)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hmm that’s part of it. But I literally never know what I’m walking in to. About 2 months ago he was yelling “a little help here. Hurry. I need you.” He said those three things instead of “I cut my hand in the garage, bring a towel because I’m bleeding”. Nope he yelled at me vaguely and then acted annoyed when I didn’t hurry and he was clearly bleeding everywhere and then snapped at me to go get him a towel and move faster because it was an emergency.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Oh help, bloody idiot (litteraly). Looks like a pampered kid. Was he an only child? The 1st thing a child learns (when out of diapers) in a multiple kid family is to be clear when you need help and help yourself first/as much as possible. When a person is not clear what they want, they have only themselves to blame when others don't understand what they want. (but alas, it looks like you have some educating to do, but I doubt it'll stick)

I had an accident (several even) with blood loss, but even with a concussion (after a head-bud from a wheelbarrow, resulting in it and a huge nosebleed) it was clear that just shouting would be useless, so I went to the spot where the help was available. Yes, blood all around, most of it on clothes and outside, but that could be cleaned. I know my wife would rather clean up later then find a non-functioning husband.