this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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/c/Vent: Vent about your life here
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No one's looking at this post so I'll vent about unrelated stuff
I'm seriously done with life. I give up entirely. The longer I live the more I need to constantly run and never hide from the puzzle piece. I will perpetually fight to be human in a society that only views me as a puppet controlled by that stupid puzzle piece. All while undoing the damage caused by all the abuse I've endured.
I am completely alone. Everyone else is human, and I'm some other, some gross monster. I should have been born a dog or a dead baby. I was even told by that family's mother to stop acting like I'm more than autism. I don't fucking have that stupid shit but I should be reduced to it? That shit is cancer, except on everyone's perception of you. You're either human or that shit, never both.
Nothing will ever change regardless of how much I try. Everyone thinks I should take pride in something I don't fucking have. Everyone thinks I should victimize myself with experiences that aren't mine. I will always be wrong, and if everyone agrees that I'm wrong then I'm wrong. Everyone agreed that Donald Trump would make a good president again and that's why he won.
I refuse to live as a puppet, and a permanent victim of things I've never experienced. I refuse to live. I'm killing myself after resigning from work, and hopefully before black friday where everyone is outside.
I should have killed myself at 7 when I planned on stabbing myself in front of an oncoming train. I was right that nothing would change, I'd be stuck forever. There should be free euthanasia for specific diagnoses. I should have qualified even though it was a mistake. So many people were completely destroyed by the same facility. Literally dying is much better than living through that. Apparently if I drink a whole bottle of acetaminophen I could get liver damage so I'll probably do that at the train station and either be crushed by an express train or die before it.