Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
“Easy things tend to become hard, and hard things tend to become easy.”
This was said to me by my mentor when I was contemplating a very difficult career choice. I have found a lot of truth in it through various areas of my life. The most striking has been watching people I knew when I was much younger who always look for the easy way out of whatever life throws at them. Over time I’ve watched how this catches up to people and makes life much harder for them because they never plan, never save, never deny themselves in the moment.
The most-predictable method I know-of, for producing inability-to-plan, is chaotic/incomprehensible parenting or home-situation:
The child learns that there is no cause-effect relationship, that no planning is going to produce any results, & this lesson alters their unconscious brain-wiring .. by the age of 7?
Possibly younger.
WHEN life is irrational & chaotic, THEN planning is wasted-effort, & only immediate-gratification produces any worthwhile results.
That sabotage-of-a-life isn't undoable.
Worse, it's self-perpetuating, generation on generation.
Breaking the cycle .. how could it happen?
You'd need to break the brokenness in the parenting, itself, & you'd need to do it consistently, for the next-generation, so they grew-up with stable & trustworthy parenting, through years of young-childhood..
how could such result be created.
No population would tolerate such alteration of their family-process, would they?
Not sure why you were downvoted. In some instances I think this may absolutely be a factor and the generational perpetuation of such an environment is hard to overstate. My spouse and I refer to it as “One Hundred Years of Solitude” after the amazing novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. If you haven’t read it, it follows this family in Columbia through multiple generations showing how self-destructive behaviors can be passed through generations in a self-perpetuating way. That’s an aside to say that I agree that yes I suspect that for some folks this is a part of the story.