tails: A Place for Mastodon Posts

(Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-02-18)

Image transcripion: A dead tree in a swamp. It seems to have a body, two arms and two legs, and the way they're each twisting, the tree looks like he's in the big finale of a musical.show

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-02-18)

Image transcripion: Picture of Ivanova in an Army of Light uniform.

The caption shows two people talking. The first line is "We have an open-door policy." The second line is "And an open airlock policy."

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcripion: Danish translation of Bradbury's "Fahrenheit 451" titled "233 Celsius".

(Originally published on mastodon.gamedev.place: 2024-02-07)

Image transcripion: The text contains the phrase "Hey! What's going on?" followed by the phrase "Sick bastard!". Below that is some code that appears to be related to password verification.

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcripion: Panel 1: Doctor Dog storms into the operating theater. His assistant shouts, "Doctor Dog! We have to operate!" 2nd panel: Doctor Dog starts chasing his tail and growling. His assistant shouts, "Quick, Doctor Dog! We don't have much time!" 3rd panel: Doctor Dog can't stop. He says, "Just a moment! This guy have been following me all day!" Panel 4: Doctor Dog stands sad and angry at the window of his office. He is smoking a cigarette and on his desk is a piece of paper that says "Medical Mal-Practice Lawsuit."

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcripion: shows a red sign with white text that says "STRICTLY NO ACCESS" mounted on a metal gate. The gate appears to be part of a fence around a park, with trees visible in the background but there is no fence around the gate or anywhere else

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Sorry dude, but you were summoned for jury duty. You can't back out.

What is wrestling but a series of dangerous hugs.

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Tony Hawk: I'd like to turn myself in for murder.

Cop: Are you Tony Hawk?

Tony Hawk: Yes.

Cop: If you're Tony Hawk where's your skateboard?

Tony Hawk, holding up a blood-soaked skateboard: It dug right into his skull. I am a monster

Cop: You look a little old to be Tony Hawk

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-01-23)

Me: How long can sharks live

Google: I need to customize this result to your current location

Me: That's clearly wrong and if it's right then it's terrifying

Image transcription: Google search: Shark life expectancy Google: See results closer to you? Use precise location

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-02-16)

These rows are perfectly horizontal and are not moving. A mind-bending anomalous motion variation of the Café wall illusion by Akiyoshi Kitaoka.

Source: http://www.psy.ritsumei.ac.jp/akitaoka/motion30e.html

Image transcription: Rows of black and white zigzag patterns forming 2x2 checkerboards on a grey background create an optical illusion of warping and motion.

(Originally published on mastodon.social: 2024-02-16)

Image transcription: “Auto Dos” button on dishwasher

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcription: In 2019 J. K. Rowling announced that Hagrid had a foot fetish.

(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)

Image transcription: tweet: Nobody: What’s your favorite paradox? Me: If you ask Rick Astley for his copy of the movie UP, he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up. However, in doing so, he lets you down. Thus creating the Astley Paradox.

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-02-14)

Image transcription: 4 panel comic: 1. Pennywise the clown speaks to a kid from the sewers: "Join us, Jimmy. We all float down here." 2. Jimmy screams and runs away. 3. Pennywise turns around and speaks to a group of clowns in the sewers. They are having a merry pool party and drinking umbrella drinks. Pennywise says: "He ran away!" 4. One of the clowns says, "Maybe he doesn't like pool parties." Another one says,"Try balloons next time."

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcription: TNG scene. We're in the turbo lift! Picard is standing in the middle, looking stumped. Riker and Geordi are forming a Picard sandwich on either side of him facing inward. Bit of a sausage party if you ask me. Closed caption reads, "Beverly thinks it's going to be tight."

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

Image transcription: Avocado half with pit inside. Pit takes up nearly ¾ of the inside

(Originally published on mastodon.world: 2024-02-14)

I'm in the business of making friends and business is good.

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.social)

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.world)

Image transcription: 6 panel Loading Artist comic. 1: Old man slowly wakes up in bed, silhouette of a scythe appears over him "IT IS TIME.". 2: The grim reaper is about to slice the man with the scythe, the man panics! 3: The man braces for impact, closing his eyes and clutching his bed sheets. 4: Nothing happened, the man cautiously opens one eye to see what's going on. 5: The grim reaper is looking at his flaccid scythe drooped onto the ground with a "FLOOP" sound effect. 6: Grim reaper sits on edge of the bed with his flaccid scythe "I've just been so stressed lately and-", old man sits up and pats Death on the back "Hey hey shhh it happens" with a comforting smile.

(Originally published earlier today on mastodon.world)

That's, so interesting.

Image transcription: In the English language, you can use a comma, anywhere, in a sentence, and it, will still be, grammatically, correct,.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)